I love reading Diary of a Public School Teacher. I was recently catching up on the posts, and this one really hit me!
I promise it’s not about you … no, in all honestly, this is a chastisement to me. If you know me, you don’t believe that, and I don’t blame you. You see me cringe when I hear students described as “behaviors” rather than as “people” or “children”. And if you know me, you’ll see me being an outspoken advocate for my students, always erring on the bleeding heart side, probably to a fault. Most likely annoying and upsetting , playing the Mama Bear, to those who might seem to threaten the well-being of my cubs. But it’s true, I’ve been a bully in my classroom. Much more so in the earlier years of my career, but even today. I woke up grumpy, and when a student in my 3rd hour class was giggling, coyly flirting, and disrupting, I called her out in front of the whole class, rather than talking to her privately. I didn’t think about it in the moment, but I was really trying to shame her into submission. Power through intimidation. Sounds like a bully. Yes, it stopped the immediate behavior, and yes, she was well-behaved the rest of the day, but it hurt my relationship with her and with all of the other students in my room who witnessed that and felt empathy for her. One grumpy morning will affect all of my students’ levels of motivation and feelings of safety in my room.
But even more troublesome are those teachers who don’t realize their “management” is really bullying and intimidating students. What breaks my heart and (I’ll admit it) brings me to tears once I’m behind closed doors is hearing education professionals speak in derogatory ways about their students. “She’s a behavior,” “He makes me miserable,” “She’s a piece of work,” “Oh, THAT student …” I swear, I’m not that sensitive a person. I hardly ever cry, and I’d like to think I’m pretty tough (I mean, I’m from Detroit!), but these words tear apart my soul. No lie. These kids are other people’s babies. They are the future. They are little, young, innocent souls in sometimes big, growing, and clumsy bodies. And they want to succeed … they all really do.
But I think the worst are teachers who know they are bullies and don’t care. I don’t think much more needs to be said there. You know if you are. I know that because I was this teacher in the past. The first year of my career, I was a long term sub and had a class of 43 kids in a subject I’d never taught. I had no idea what to do, so I bullied and intimidated to manage my room. I wanted to have as few referrals as possible so the principal might hire me. I did win the favor of the principal and other teachers, but I failed at all I was trying to teach. The school psych had a poster in his office that read “Are you a teacher or a bully?” I felt guilty every time I looked at it, but those times I actually dared to read the bullet points under the damning headline? Forget it! Guilt to the max! Thankfully, I was hired into an amazing school the following year with fabulous colleagues. I learned so much from them and continue to, even though only one still works with me.
I guess I’m just trying to be that poster in the school psych office. You may cringe to look at my headline and recoil even more when looking at the details. But bullying kids should be unacceptable. My grumpy nagging today … unacceptable. Saying mean or negative things about students should be taboo on our campuses.
I’d like to think that I’ve changed. I have good relationships with all of my students (at least from my perspective, and I hope from theirs). I was less than thrilled, to say the least, about returning to work yesterday after the winter break, but I kind of lit up inside when I saw their faces, tired but ready to work hard. All these special kids who are entrusted to me. All of these one-of-a-kind personalities testing and trying new idea, ways of communications, styles, and everything else about being human. All of them doing all of this in these short 9 months I get to hang out with them. Who else gets to soak up this much of the human experience?
Most likely, my students will forgive my grumpy morning. Kids have the benevolence to forget quickly. I’d like to think it was rather out of character, and they’ve already forgotten, but who knows. I’ll do better tomorrow, and I hope you will too. Not because we need to, but because we can. And won’t they learn so much more from a little mercy than from relentless justice (Yes, I had to throw in a little comment inspired by Les Mis. Victor Hugo was pretty cool, but I really liked Anne Hathaway.)
that teaching blog 